Will somebody please tell me how to determine which way to turn when you get off that darn elevator at Binion’s Horseshoe? I have been staying at Binions for 14 years and as of last May, at the World Series of Sbobet Indonesia Poker, I have never been able to figure out which way to turn when I get to the casino floor. I always take a couple of steps out, look one way — usually it’s the wrong way — then look the other, get my bearings and head toward the poker area. Okay, I’m not that dumb. I figured out a long time ago that if I paid attention to which side I was getting on at the top, I would know which way to turn at the bottom. But I never think about it until I hit the casino floor.
I don’t think it’s just me either, because my wife is a very bright woman and she usually is waiting for my lead when we get to the casino floor. Furthermore, I notice everyone else is doing the same thing as I’m doing. Don’t believe me? I dare you to someday stand by the elevator on the casino floor at Binions. I will guarantee you that most people coming down from upstairs will be craning their neck, trying to figure out where they are and which way to go.
Speaking of elevators, will somebody please tell me how to tell the difference between an Englishman and an Australian. Let me explain. It seems many times during a tournament in Las Vegas, I find myself in the elevator with someone else. Usually I will say something like, “How’s it going?” Too many times to count, I have been answered by a person with an English accent. This is where my problem starts.
For whatever reason, maybe just being a poker player trying to always guess what somebody has in his or her hand, I will always make my educated guess by saying something like, “You’re English, huh?” The reply is always the same, “No, I’m Australian.” On the other hand if I say, “Your from down under, huh mate?” the reply is again always the same. “No, I’m from England.”
One day I thought I had a slam dunk when I was standing in the coffee shop line and a guy comes in behind me. I waited for a while and finally I said, “How’s it going?” He answered with an English accent, plus he had one of those Western-looking hats that is turned up on the side. So finally I thought I was going to guess correctly. I nonchalantly said, “You’re from Australia, right?” “No,” he said, “I’m South African.” I’ve never guessed right in 8 billion tries. What happened to the law of averages? Are all of us Americans that dumb or is it just me?
Will somebody please tell me why dealers stack pots? I know in split games they may have to divide the pot, so in split games they are excused. But in a hold-em or a stud game, why do dealers do it? I can’t remember the last session of poker I played, where at some point in time, my table didn’t have a dealer that was a “stacker”.
One day quite awhile ago, I was stuck in a 20-40 hold-em game and in came a dealer who insisted on stacking every pot. It seems to me when you’re stuck and you’re playing in a game where they take a time collection, delays can be very irritating. After a couple of stackings, I asked the dealer if he would just shove the pot. I tried not to show my frustration by trying to be cute, giving a forced laugh and saying, “Part of the fun of winning a pot is stacking the chips.” His reply was one of my all time favorites. He said, “It’s quicker this way.” Yeah, I thought, much quicker. The only possible explanation I ever could come up with why dealers stack pots is that they are trying to be real nice so as to get tipped. They’re trying to say “Here sir, see how nice I am. I’m stacking your pot for you.” Dealers, please don’t stack my pot. I’m a grown up. I can do it myself.
Will somebody please tell me why dealers knock the table before they start dealing a hand? After the hand is in progress, before the flop or the turn or the river okay, the knock signifies the action is complete and I’m going to deal. If every dealer would do it after the hand started, there would be many, many less, “I burned and turned before the action was complete.”
So maybe just cut out the knocking at the table before the hand starts, and insert it in the necessary spots after the hand is in progress.
For What it’s Worth